With the spike in my photography business (finally, TX, what took you so long?!?!), lots of fun to be had with friends, and all our crazy schedules/parties/events I have been a blog slacker.
Plus, I've kinda been dreading December and knew if I blogged in Dec, I would have to talk about it; it is my therapy after all.
One year ago this past week my mom, the boys and I headed off on a Disney Christmas cruise out of Galveston.
We left on a Saturday evening out of Port Galveston, and were at sea until Monday morning when we made port in Key West, FL.
That was when I started getting all the messages that changed my life. Adam says "your brother is desperately looking for you, please call him!" I call him only to have him tell me my Dad has had a heart attack.
OK, I need to sit down, or throw up, or pass out, or something. So I ask him, I'm in Florida....do I need to get off this boat right now? If I don't, I'm out to sea, out of range, and won't be reachable until the next Saturday. He says no, they're going to do a triple bypass, and since Dad will be recovering there's nothing I can do anyway, and he's heading back to NY from D.C. that night). SO I give him the number to our room (I had already given them our cruise info, but never told them which ship I guess, so he wasn't able to get a hold of us by the ship's phone system).
Mom and the boys and I get off the boat and spend some time in Key West then spend the rest of the evening on the boat. We left port in Key West probably somewhere around dinner, and when we came back from dinner I had a message from larry saying I had to call him. ($8/min too...awesome right?).
They did Dad's pre-surgery chest X-ray and found cancer.
Lung cancer.
Lots of it, most likely stage 4.
No heart surgery will be performed due to this discovery.
Without the heart surgery he probably doesn't have long.
Not even sure if he'll survive the next few days.
Please someone tell me to breathe, help me get the air I'm gasping for.
Tell me it's all a bad dream, tell me I'm not trapped on this f*cking cruise ship while my Dad is dying.
I will say the ppl on this Disney cruise were amazing. My phone bill was wiped clean. I was allowed to use the front desk phone to call and check on things at home free of charge whenever I wanted. The poor girls at the front desk must have felt so bad for us. Constantly going to the front desk making sobbing phone calls.
They even got me and Mason (due to his food allergies I was not leaving him behind) emergency passports to fly out of the Bahamas when we made port there...but I just couldn't leave Mom and Aidan.
It was the worst week and cruise of my life. Food galore, but who could eat when you're that anxious?
Activities galore, but who wants to have fun when in you're in that mental state?
I never would have thought in my wildest dreams that I would want so badly to get off a Disney cruise.
But I did.
We got back in TX the next Saturday and Ryan already had mine and the boys winter things packed and flight booked to NY for us, for an indefinite stay.
I won't bore you with any more details, but the boys, my brother and I spent the rest of December home in NY, and we got to spend our last Xmas with my Dad. I am grateful for that. (By February 4, he would be gone).
It was a miserable time being away from Ryan during the Holidays, and especially for that reason I knew I wanted to make this December an amazing Christmas season. We have a new home, awesome new friends, and a happy, healthy family. We have lots to celebrate this year. We've decorated, baked cookies, and had LOTS of fun! However it has not been easy, and I'll always associate December with the worst week of my life, but I'm sure it will get easier as time goes on. XOXO
No comments:
Post a Comment