Taco Tuesday

I don't know where he heard it, but Aidan asked me what "taco tuesday" meant. So I explained it's very simplistic definition.

It's a tuesday when you eat tacos.

Of course he loved the idea and asked if we could have Taco Tuesday this week, and I agreed. however, I forgot that we had a photo session in the city around dinnertime, and of course didn't have any of the makings for tacos in the kitchen...at all.

And Aidan had not forgotten it was Taco Tuesday, even if Mommy did. (Damn that Disney Junior for announcing what day of the week it was!!!)

Ryan was meeting me at the park for the session to take the boys off my hands while I worked...the park we were shooting at happens to be across the street from his hospital. I asked him if he wanted to grab tacos afterward, and he asked some of his buddies for a good spot for tacos, and we ended up going someplace in Rice Village. 

Aidan chillin with the iPad while Mommy works.

However, we got there and while they had amazing tacos that adults would eat, they had zero ground beef style tacos for Aidan and Mason. Plus, on the kids menu they had some sort of peanut butter and banana burrito thingy. That automatically means we don't eat there because the risk of cross contamination with the kids food and that damn peanut butter is way too high for my liking.

So we walked across the street to this british pub place that Ryan has been to before, and grabbed some Pub Fare instead. Aidan didn't complain because he got his chips and guacamole...that makes him happy. And he had calamari for his dinner. My kids love calamari!

I had a summer Saint Arnold beer with fish n chips, so Mommy was happy too!

And that my friends, is how Taco Tuesday turn dingo Pub Fare Tuesday. Perhaps next week I'll make Taco Tuesday work!

Swimming Lessons

When we joined our new gym we were told that one of the sign-on incentives was a month of free swim lessons for each child. The sales rep then also told us we had an allotment of "lifetime bucks" that you could spend on anything at the gym so we decided to use those for a second month of lessons. 2 months of swim lessons for free? We'll take it!

Mason heading off with his teacher

Aidan heading off with his teacher

At one point during their first lessons, about halfway through, I noticed Aidan was crying so I went over, but he couldn't explain to me what the problem was. The teacher thought maybe he had gotten splashed or was scared of something. I wasn't overly concerned, but he managed to shake it off and finish out his class, which I was proud of.

Mason of course loved every minute of it.

They've only had a few lessons so far, but Aidan is progressing very nicely and his teacher tells me after each class he's doing great. (I even caught Mason making these hysterical big scoop swimming strokes while in the pool at Disney...so something must clicking from class!)

During their second week of classes Mason decided to get out of the pool and come to me asking to use the potty, so we did. He then refused to go back in the pool. It was our last lesson before heading to Disney and I knew he was going to miss the next two classes so I was slightly worried that this was a bad sign. I was worried that after 2 weeks off he definitely wouldn't get back in the water....but he proved me wrong and this week the boys went back and both did a great job! Mason's teacher even said he followed all instructions and she was proud of him.

Mason pouting during the second week of class....refusing to go back in the pool!

We'll have to decide when our free lessons are up whether or not we want to pay for them because they are a bit pricey at this gym. I like the idea of the boys being able to swim though, to sort of put my mind at ease. I guess only time will tell.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

I find myself having "shoulda, coulda, woulda" moments lately thinking about my Dad.

I'm sure everyone who has lost a loved one has moments like these, and I've tried for months just to not think about it. Some days I can't keep the thoughts back and it's overwhelming.

There are so many things I wish I would have just said to him when we found out he was sick. We knew he was dying, yet I couldn't allow myself to tell him the things I wanted to say. It was as if by saying all these things it made it more final, you know?

My way of dealing with it was probably not the best. I feel like I just tried to push all the scariness and truth away and hide from it. It scared me to see Dad sick, it scared me to think about life without him, and I just froze.

I didn't say all the things I should have. I said "I Love you", but I feel like that just wasn't enough.

 I feel like I should have told him thank you for being an amazing Dad, for teaching me so many things. From cooking to tools, he taught me all. He never missed a choir performance/musical/awards banquet. He would drive all the way up to SLU for every Laurentians concert and every Radio Bob Band gig. He had patience when I had none with my kids. He would always laugh when I was frustrated and say "by the time Mason is 6, they'll slow down, just hang in there". HE was always there to help out ion PA when I needed a babysitter but couldn't find one. He would drive to PA just to watch the boys when Ryan and I had to work the same weekend. He never missed a birthday party or Holiday in PA.

I just wish I had had the courage to tell him thank you for all this while he was still here. I was a coward, I was scared and I was trying not to face the reality of the situation.

I find myself thinking about him so much lately with all the new and exciting stuff going on in our lives. He was always the first person I would call to talk to or to share a funny Aidan/Mason story. My brother and I have both said for the longest time we both would still have the quickest flash of an urge to call Dad when something happened. So we call each other now instead. 

I know time heals all wounds, but I know the idea of not having my dad around will never get easier. I just hope that as time goes on (it has only been 5 months after all) that the unsuspecting bouts of missing Dad so bad it hurts will ease up.