"It'll be worth it in the end...."

Today I really miss Dad.

Some days I can truck on emotionally, and others I can't.

It probably seems weird, but the new house is really triggering my emotions with missing my Dad, and here's why. 

Being a Surgeon's wife has never been easy. Especially during 5 years of residency and this one year of Fellowship.

I spent 90% of my time being a "single mom" or a "residency widow". I did a lot on my own because I had to. I spent many nights alone because I had to. I went to birthday parties alone with 2 kids, because I had to.

I'm not complaining, it's just the way it is when your husband works 14 hour days.

Whenever I would talk to my dad I would stay upbeat, never let him see if I was frustrated with it at the time we talked...and every time Ryan's crazy schedule was brought up he would say:

"It'll be worth it in the end."

Well, now it's the end, and it has been worth it. Ryan has accepted an amazing position here in Houston, and we just bought our dream house.

But Dad's not here to see that it really was worth it, and that kills me. I want him to see that I/We survived all of Ryan's training and that he's finally an attending, and he'll be home more, and we have a great new home to finally put our roots down in. I wish he could just know that after all of it we'll be OK, in fact better than OK. We're doing great....and I just wish Dad could know.